I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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