we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
