ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize