Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize