I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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