No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
