I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
