Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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