i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
