I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
