they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Come on in and take your pants off
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