I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
