i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
