I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
