JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
