Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
