We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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