her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
