she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
