Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
