If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
