Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
