I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
