My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
