She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
