I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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