dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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