I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
