So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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