i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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