He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize