News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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