i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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