I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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