So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i out mim tonsoeep
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