i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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