lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
