it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize