What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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