Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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