Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
