Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
