i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
