How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
