dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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