2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
