I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
