Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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