i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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