So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
