Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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