I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
