I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
