Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize