How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
