So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I understand Curling. That high.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
This can only be settled by a dance off.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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