2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
