Where are you?
In a non slutty way
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
